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The Second Highest Mountain

by Blimix

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This is the second funniest song you have ever heard!*


Lyrics: (SPOILERS! You may rob yourself of punchlines by reading ahead. Try just listening.)

I'll climb the second highest mountain
I'll navigate the second greatest lakes
I'll go spelunking in the second darkest cave
I would do almost anything it takes

I'll paddle the second longest river
Then swim the second widest sea
I'll search to the ends of a spheroid world
To find a worse couple than we

Think of me fondly as I search Heaven and Hell
I'll comb throughout Atlantis, and bring you back a shell
When I return, you'll see the pleasure gleaming in my eye
'Cause some unlucky couple has it worse than you and I

Promise me that you will be faithful
As I roam across the desert and the brine
Ignore the pack of condoms in my duffel bag
And I'll pretend the underwear I found is mine

Kiss me for good luck as I am leaving
I'll keep you in my thoughts around the clock
And you can make me feel welcome back at home
If this time you would please not change the lock

Think of me fondly as I search Heaven and Hell
I'd even try New Jersey, except -- you know the smell
When I return, my news is guaranteed to satisfy
'Cause some unlucky couple has it worse than you and I


I'm off to climb the second highest mountain
Don't worry, dear; you know I'll be all right
I'll be with you for fifty years because of our commitment
And then another thirty out of spite

Think of me fondly as I search Heaven and Hell
You laughed when I rolled down the stairs, then left me where I fell, but
When I return, we'll gladly bid our misery goodbye
'Cause some unlucky couple has it worse than you and I


released September 6, 2014
Written, arranged, performed, and recorded by Joe Levy.

Technical advisors: Cristyn Magnus and Joel Lord. (Thanks for all the wonderful advice, some of which I occasionally followed. Any remaining technical issues are my fault, not theirs.)

Guitar, vocals, and kazoo by Joe Levy.

The recorders, bass, and drums were arranged in Voyetra Ballade GM, and synthesized on a Roland SC-7 Sound Canvas. If you've never heard of these, it's because they're older than you are.

This is my debut with home studio (read: computer in a basement) mixing. If I had known in advance how much work it would be, this would have been a low-res YouTube video of me with a guitar in a bathroom, and I would have had months of my life back, with which to play video games.

* Okay, this is the second funniest song you have ever heard, if you've never listened to more than one song by The Arrogant Worms, Black '47, Rodney Carrington, Tim Cavanagh, Jonathan Coulton, Da Vinci's Notebook, The Doubleclicks, Tom Lehrer, Molly Lewis, MC Frontalot, MC Hawking, Tim Minchin, Modern Man, Monty Python, Sean Morey, Paul and Storm, Mike Phirman, Adam Sandler, Eric Schwartz, Tom Smith, Jill Sobule, Strong Bad, Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, 2 Live Jews, Joss Whedon, Tim Wilson, or "Weird Al" Yankovic.


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Blimix Albany, New York

Joe is a laid-back geek who is passionate about games, logic, math, helping people, jeet kune do, music, and his wife. He has interests in computer programming, feminism, hiking, philosophy, progressive politics, rock climbing, sci-fi and fantasy, snark, and sushi. ... more

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